All At Once
by alien.girl
Summary: Mac's scared when Rene comes back for a visit
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: Dude, if I owned Harm and Mac I'd be so happy. But sadly, this is reality. :(  
  
  
Feedback: -Email:academy_award_winning_girl@hotmail.com  
-Reviews are nice too...you don't have to though  
  
A/N: 'All at Once' is performed by Whitney Houston. I can't say I really like her, however  
this song is incredible. :)  
  
  
  
  
  
All at Once  
  
By: Tiff (alien.girl)  
  
All at once.  
I started counting tear drops.  
And at least a million fell.  
My eyes begin to swell.  
And it finally hit me.  
All at once.  
  
Why don't some women age? I age. I know I do. I have the luggage under my eyes to prove it. Rene hasn't aged. No, she is still one of the most breath-taking women I have ever met. She has this amazing presence. I've never been really that insecure, but for some reason I feel inferior to this blonde bombshell everytime I'm in the room with her. She has captured Harm. I think he still loves her.   
  
Rene came back into his life today after two years. Harm and I began the day exchanging the normal early morning banter. Then this woman...she entered. Immediately I felt his eyes leave me and go straight to her. She wrapped her arms around him and they held each other for a while...One minute and 21 seconds.  
I knew cue...  
  
So I sat down in my office and just stared at the desk for a while. I actually thought that things were okay between us. We seamed only a few footsteps from being together...  
  
"Mac?" A voice breaks my train of thought.  
  
I fake a quick smile. "Hey."  
  
He just stands there for a moment. Then he walks over to me and crouched down so that he's a few inches from my face. He places his hand on my cheek.  
  
"What's up?" He asks softly.  
  
"Nothing." I place my hand on the one laying on my cheek.  
  
For a moment his eyes are staring into mine. He's trying to read my emotions. I'll let him.  
  
"Um...Rene and I are going out to lunch. Did you want to come?"  
  
"Nah. I've got some work to do."  
  
He stands up from his crouching position. "What, you're not gonna eat?"  
  
"Yah, well, I'm not that hungry."  
  
"I am shocked and amazed. My marine isn't hungry. Hell must have froze over."  
  
"Yah, I guess so."   
  
I fake another smile, but this smile backfires. As I form my lips, a tear escapes me eye. He immediately places both hands on my face and wipes the stray tear away with his thumb.  
  
"Mac..."  
  
"Harm, you should just go. There's nothing you can do for me here. I'm just having a bad day. Go have fun." I quickly say to silence him.  
  
Suddenly, I feel his arms wrapped around me.   
  
"I just won't go, then."  
  
"What...no..Harm..."  
  
"Is this why you're upset? I don't want to upset you."  
  
"No, you're not upsetting me. You should go, Harm. You don't owe me anything."  
  
We separate.  
  
He sighs. "What's going on with..."  
  
"Us? I don't know, Harm." I brush away some more stray tears.  
  
We hear Rene's knocks on my door.  
  
"You should go, Harm."  
  
"Come with me."  
  
"I'd feel out of place."  
  
"What if I told you that I need you to come?"  
  
I hold his hand for a moment. "Okay."  
  
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A/N: Does anyone want to see what happens at lunch? Review and tell me then...or just tell me to quit.  
*Thanks*  
--Tiff 


	2. Lunch

Disclaimer: Harm, Mac, and Rene are not mine.  
  
Title: All at Once  
  
Author: Tiff (alien.girl)  
  
A/N before you get started I just wanted to thank everyone for the wonderful feedback. You guys rock! Oh and one thing.. I do not (I repeat) I do not think Rene is more beautiful than Mac. Okay? I think Rene's teeth are way too big. That's all I have to say.   
Okay...Let's go back to Harm and Mac Land...  
  
Chapter 2  
  
We arrived at a small Italian restaurant. The waiter set us at a table in back. Rene slid into her side of the booth. I slide into the opposite side and looked at Harm for a brief moment. He didn't even flinch. There was no turmoil in his eyes, no 'oh God, who do I sit with look? He just immediately sat next to me and are bodies touched. He stared into me, but our moment of bliss was interupted be Rene. Was she still in the room?  
  
"So Mac...what's new?"  
  
"Oh, nothing really...Just work."  
  
"Are you...seeing anybody?"  
  
"Um..."  
  
What am I suppose to say? I felt the painful sensation of two pairs of eyes burning a hole in me. What did she have to ask me that?  
  
"...Sort of."  
  
"Oh." she replied.  
  
Then I heard the sound of her cell phone ringing.   
  
"I'm sorry. This will take just a minute."   
  
She excused herself from the table and left Harm and I alone to our silence.  
  
"She hasn't changed."  
  
"No," I agree. "She hasn't."  
  
"Sort of?" he mused.  
  
I laughed, "I didn't know what to say. What would you have said?"  
  
"I would have said 'maybe.'"  
  
"Funny, Harm. Real Funny." I giggle and throw a piece of my napkin at him.  
  
"At least I got you to smile." he whispers in my ear.  
  
"Yes, you did."  
  
I look over at him. I really am in-love and he has something in his eyes that let's me know the feeling is mutual. Our lips are just inches apart. Harm gives me the lightest, most gentle kiss. When the small kiss is over, he rests his forehead on mine.  
  
"Sorry about that." Rene says breaking us apart with her words.  
  
I know what he's going to do know. He's going to slide over a few inches and this 'incident' will never be discussed again. I know the drill. I've memorized it. He's just going to...  
  
Oh wait a minute, he is wrapping his arm around me. There is no more drill. Things have changed.  
  
TBC... 


	3. Luch part2

Disclaimer: I do not own Mac and Harm.   
I do not own them.   
Darn!   
Darn!   
Darn!  
  
Title: All At Once  
  
Author: Tiff (Alien.girl)  
  
Feedback: That would be nice. I didn't think a lot of people would e-mail me and when I saw 'Review 40', it gave me a tingly sensation all over my body. :) Yay!!  
  
Chapter 3  
  
Did she even know we were in the restaurant with her? She would have this conversation even if Harm and I were not here.   
  
"So after the divorce, I got half. I took it and ran. I don't think marriage is for me. I think it's the fact that you have to come home to the same routine everynight..."  
  
I would love to come home to the same routine everynight. I could easily picture coming home with Harm every evening, eating dinner together, watching tv in bed with his hand in mine. This kind of life could easily satisfy me.  
  
"Do you know what I mean, Mac?"   
  
She asks me as if we shared some common bond. We don't...not really. The only thing we share is our love for Harm. She's not getting him--not over my dead body. I'm starting to feel better.   
  
"Um...sure. I think I understand where you're coming from. I don't think I would mind that type of life though."  
  
"Really? I thought that was what I wanted too, but now I'm not so sure. You wouldn't mind coming home to the same person everynight?"  
  
"No, not if it was the right person." I smiled slightly.  
  
Harm seamed to be enjoying this because he gave my hand a squeeze.  
  
"Oh. Well, I should've known."  
  
"Excuse me?"   
  
What did she just say?  
  
"Oh Mac, I didn't mean it like that. It's just that you're picky when it comes to guys."  
  
"Rene..." Harm started  
  
"Rene, you really don't know me that well. Could you not analyze me?"  
  
"Sorry Mac..."  
  
"Excuse me, Harm." I slide out.  
  
For some reason, I don't think he will follow me. I am by the entrance, but I can't help but turn around one last time. I see him telling her something, pointing his finger, revealing his anger. He's standing up for me. Then he walks away and looks at me. When he arrives at my spot, he gives me a sympathetic yet loving smile.  
  
"You okay, Mac?" he asks when we walk towards the car.  
  
He stops in front of me and brushes a stray hair from my face.  
  
"Yah...I'm not having a good day. I should have composed myself better."  
  
"The woman insulted you, Mac."  
  
"I know. God, what's the matter with me?"  
  
"Nothing. There is nothing wrong with you, Mac."   
  
He places his lips on my forehead.  
  
"Harm, after work do you want to come to my place?"  
  
"Sure, I'll make you dinner."  
  
I smile. We're getting closer to our future. We're going home and eating dinner. But I can't help but feel this nagging insecurity that he still doesn't feel the same way. I think he sees this in my eyes because immediately he wrapps his arms around me and kisses me. There is no feeling like this. He's sending tingly rimples throughout my body, giving me goosebumps along my arms and legs. I am so in-love. Oh yes, I am so in-love.  
  
TBC... 


	4. Dinner

Disclaimer: I don't own these characters. I love them, but I do not own them.  
  
Title:All at Once  
  
Feedback: That would be nice :)  
  
  
A/N: I took a little break from the story because I had writer's block. The lyrics I have here are from the awesome Norah Jones. If you're into Blues or Jazz I reccomend her CD 'Come Away With Me.' It's amazing! Well anyway here goes...  
  
All At Once  
  
Like a flower waiting to bloom.  
Like a light bulb in a dark room.  
I'm just sitting here waiting for-   
you to come on home and turn me on.  
  
We come home together. Immediately I take off my cover and set it on the end table. He closes the door behind him and just stands there leaning against the oak entrance. I turn around to look at him.  
  
"Come here." He whispers.  
  
I smile and walk over to him. Harm gives me a kisss that goes right from my lips to my heart. When it's over I my hug him.  
  
"You hungry?" He asks, whispering into my ear.  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Good. Let's make you something to eat."  
  
He kisses my forehead.  
  
"I'm just go change."  
  
"Oh good idea. Do still have some of my clothes here?"  
  
"Yeah, the Navy shirt and sweats."  
  
"That's them."  
  
"I'll go grab them.  
  
I go into my bedroom to get his clothes. When I return, he is cutting carrots in his white undershirt with his back turned towards me. I set the clothes down and wrap my arms around him from behind. I slide my hands up his shirt and caress the his beautifully sculpted stomach. My lips find their way to his neck. Harm puts his utencil down and wraps his arms around me. I smile at him.  
  
"There's my girl." He smiles back at me.  
  
We just stay in this position for a few minutes. I'm comfortable in this position.  
  
"Mac?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"You know how I feel about you, right?"  
  
"I think I do."  
  
"You think?"  
  
"Well, it would be nice to hear it?" I smile teasingly.  
  
"Mac..."  
  
"Harm, it's okay. Don't worry about it."  
  
I take my arms off him and begin to walk away, trying to hide my dissapointment. Maybe he isn't ready. I feel tears well up in my eyes.  
  
"I'm just going to change."   
  
I run into my room, shutting the door behind me. Tears now flow freely. What if he's not in-love? What is I'm just imagining that he wants to be with me? God, I hate myself. I change into a pair of jeans and my favorite long sleave shirt. I wipe my tears and return to the kitchen. I find no one. Oh God, what have I done?  
  
TBC... 


	5. From here

Disclaimer: I do not own any characters, but I love them and I'll treat them well. :)  
  
Title:All At Once  
  
A/N: I took a little break from writing. I'm having the worst case of Writer's Block Syndrome.  
(Cough*Cough*) So please forgive me...enjoy the final chapter  
  
Chapter 5  
  
I am walking into my office. I didn't see Harm in the bullpen. He's usually late   
anyway. It hurts to even think about last night. It's my fault. If I just took it slow  
everything would be alright. But we're not alright. I didn't follow the rules of engagement   
when dealing with Harm--I didn't take baby steps.  
  
I sit down to my desk and look the pictures inside the silver frames. I wonder what   
will happen to us. Maybe nothing will happen to us. Maybe nothing was ever meant to happen  
with us. On that note, I feel like having a drink...but I know that this is not the option, so   
settle for working instead.   
  
Thank God for lunch. Harriet's out today, so I settle on having lunch by myself in the  
cafetaria downstairs. My stomach is feeling so weak, so I decide to have a cup of coffee.   
Sitting down, I take my novel to clear my thoughts. I randomly grabbed one of the shelf  
this morning. Figures...it's a romance novel.   
  
"This spot taken?" I hear a deep voice waking me from my revery.  
  
I look up to see is gentle eyes staring at me.  
  
"No." I say softly and look down at my coffee.  
  
He takes the seat across of me empty handed and wonder if he's not eating either. After  
a few moments of silence, he speaks.  
  
"I shouldn't have left." He closes his eyes as if it hurts him to think about last   
night before.  
  
"I wish you didn't either." I reply.  
  
"I'm sorry."  
  
"We're never going to work this out, Harm."  
  
"Why do you say that, Mac?"  
  
"We have this rollercoaster relationship. One minute we are together; we can't get   
enough each other. Then the next we're angry. This THING we have is breaking my heart.   
It's breaking you'rs too."  
  
"I never meant to break your heart. "  
  
"It hurts you too, Harm."  
  
"It hurts when you're not there. I need you, Mac. I was stupid last night. I initiated  
something, then I took it back. And I'm sorry for that, Mac. I really am."  
  
He places his hand over mine.  
  
"We can do this Mac. I know we can."  
  
I'm starting to cry. As much as this man fustrates me, I can't live without him. He  
knows it.   
  
"I love you, Harm, and I know you're not ready to say that to me, but I needed you to  
here it anyway.   
  
He looks at me for a brief moment with this loving look. I've seen that look before.   
But today, at this moment, it's intense.   
  
Suddenly he grabs my hand and walks me to a long hallway. He opens the door to an empty   
conference room and looks the door. I am looking at him in amazement. Harm then leans me up   
against a wall. His hand rises and he extends a finger to caress my cheek.   
  
"I love you."   
  
He whispers this and his lips grace mine. My hands cradle his face when the passionate   
embrace has ended.  
  
"I just wanted to tell you in private. This moment is for us. It doesn't belong  
to anyone else."  
  
I smile at his gesture.  
  
"Where do we go from here?" I ask.  
  
"Anywhere, Mac. Anywhere."   
  
**THE END** 


End file.
